Hello all!
It’s been a year since I’ve last written on here, and it feels good to be writing again. A few lessons and notes from my year-long break from writing Ongrowing:
Writing is difficult - Not just the practice itself, but also the time and energy it takes. It requires time: time to experience life, time to reflect on life, time to think and arrange your thoughts. This past year, I was busy in work and living that I put little time aside to just sit and pen down my thoughts in a coherent manner
I want to engage with people in an intentional and meaningful way - I’ve reconsidered moving platforms, simply because I thought writing on this platform requires too much time. I was feeling the urge to express and share my insights with people more frequently but creating content on Instagram or TikTok bothered me because I know how people operate on them (I’m guilty myself). They often serve as fast, snappy entertainment. I want people to craft time out of their day to put in the time and energy to reflect on their own time… so Substack/Email remains the clear winner here
I discovered writers who inspired me - they say that finding role models and mentors are the best way to grow and I completely agree. I’ve found so many inspiring voices that I resonate with and I’ve been consuming their content with the intention of reshaping my writing and experimenting more with my own medium of expression.
Perfectionism is detrimental to creation - I had high expectations of my own writing. I want it to be perfect. I want it to be unique. And I realized that these desires of mine are stopping me from expressing myself and connecting with others (this also extends to other parts of my life where I overthink and overcalculate my actions). I hope to become more raw in my writing, giving myself permission to show make mistakes and be clumsy, something we should all be allowed to do
Balancing discipline and creativity - I’ve always struggled with consistently writing and producing, but now that I have more time in my hands, I’m hoping to cut the friction it takes for me to publish so that you can hear from me more. This means my letters to you will probably less predictable and more experimental
Today’s thought
As I was driving down the usual route I take into the city, I had an ‘aha!’ moment that made me grin.
We all have one of those days. One of those days where you catch yourself feeling and thinking in a loop. This loop is nothing new. It’s been a pattern that you’ve created a long time ago. For example, every time you’re on the way to office, you might feel dread going to work. Or every time you get into a conflict with your partner, you might feel a pang of immense frustration. These feelings can stay with you for a long time if you keep going down the same train of thought. I believe they accumulate, and in large volumes and prolonged periods of time, they can become so ingrained in you that they show up as mental health illnesses (depression, anxiety, chronic stresses etc.)
Thoughts and feelings come and go, and I think the ideal way to be with them is to let them come and go.
My ‘aha!’ moment came from my realization that I’ve gotten so, so much better at releasing these habitual thoughts that make me feel unworthy and unloved. I was very proud of this achievement, so much so that I even entertained the idea of ironically posting this on LinkedIn. “I am delighted to announce that I have gained a new level of emotional awareness and am feeling much lighter in my being! Thank you to all of those who have contributed to my achievement. (enter tags and hashtags)"
Putting my stab to the cringy culture of LinkedIn aside, it made me question how rarely we encourage and celebrate the growth of our inner world. People congratulate others on getting a new degree and getting a new job but we don’t see a lot of compliments for learning to be more compassionate or feeling less stressed. Maybe because these “skills” are so abstract and hard to quantify. Nevertheless, the ways that we’ve grown to feel more at ease and authentic in ourselves are equally worthy of praise and acknowledgement. Be it that you’ve found more stillness in a chaotic schedule or found peace and joy after an ending of a relationship that didn’t work out. One small step leads to another, and that’s how we evolve. I hope we can all take more time to celebrate the hidden/unnoticed/abstract/messy ways that we’ve grown as a person.
With love,
Fair
Happy to read from you again, Fair. And yes, congratulations on the inner work. Part of the reason it's not often celebrated is because it's our role as the one experiencing it to live it through and celebrate it for ourselves. Those who were the first to celebrate the achievements we made from a stressed out state will probably not be in our vibrational frequency when we are in a more harmonious and loving state anyway. This is how I interpreted your words. Appreciate you! <3
Fair, it's so good to hear from you! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and insights.